I have blogged for 7 years. I don’t feel comfortable with sharing this story on my own blog.
I’m currently going through a termination of pregnancy.
It’s singularly the hardest decision I have ever made.
I am almost 30, married and have 4 amazing children. I never ever saw myself having to make this heartbreaking decision.
Our circumstances are such that bringing another baby into the world would be the wrong thing to do. Our family life is so turbulent at the moment that keeping our baby would be unfair on the baby and unfair on the four children already here.
I am not trying to justify my decision; I am not trying to make it seem okay; I am simply giving you the facts.
Having a termination does not mean I didn’t want our baby, she would have been (and is) loved very much.
Will I ever be okay? I don’t know, but I do know that I need time and space to grieve for the baby I will never get to hold.
Into the Light 
Don’t know if you have done this yet. I can tell you do not want to. I am so sorry you feel you have to make this decision, a decision that will impact you all your life, and also your living children. Abortion i s not a “get it done it is over” decision. Very often it just brings more problems. I hope you change your mind and look for some support to have the child you already love. If it is too late I hope you get the help you need to heal….
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