Judgement

I password protected my last post initially because the thought of being abused for my decision was too much to bare.  Today, I have come to realise that nobody could ever judge me as harshly as I judge myself.

I judge myself and I know the storms I have endured to get here.  What chance does someone who doesn’t know about the storms have of not judging me?

I am not naive enough to think that even knowing my story will make some understand.

I am guilty of making judgements before knowing the full circumstances.

The difference between my judgements and the judgements of those who judge me?

I accept that I do judge people, I amend my judgements if I find I judged too quickly.  Those who judge me for my decision, do not.

I have already been told I acted in “selfishness”.  Maybe I did, but I also came to a decision that kept my family together.

I have been told I need to be “prayed for”.  I probably do, but only by those who sincerely want me to be forgiven by whatever greater power there is out there.

I have been told I need to be “forgiven”.  I do, but before anyone else can do that I need to forgive myself.

I can say that I made a difficult decision while thinking of the bigger picture.  The four children I kiss goodnight every night need me to guide them through their lives.  They deserve a Mum who can give them her time and energy.

So, a final word before I go:

3112

 

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