I password protected my last post initially because the thought of being abused for my decision was too much to bare. Today, I have come to realise that nobody could ever judge me as harshly as I judge myself.
I judge myself and I know the storms I have endured to get here. What chance does someone who doesn’t know about the storms have of not judging me?
I am not naive enough to think that even knowing my story will make some understand.
I am guilty of making judgements before knowing the full circumstances.
The difference between my judgements and the judgements of those who judge me?
I accept that I do judge people, I amend my judgements if I find I judged too quickly. Those who judge me for my decision, do not.
I have already been told I acted in “selfishness”. Maybe I did, but I also came to a decision that kept my family together.
I have been told I need to be “prayed for”. I probably do, but only by those who sincerely want me to be forgiven by whatever greater power there is out there.
I have been told I need to be “forgiven”. I do, but before anyone else can do that I need to forgive myself.
I can say that I made a difficult decision while thinking of the bigger picture. The four children I kiss goodnight every night need me to guide them through their lives. They deserve a Mum who can give them her time and energy.
So, a final word before I go: